To tell the truth, it hurts when you don’t fit in. But it is impossible to fit into every group all the time. Even in our tolerant society, peer pressure abounds.
The challenges that lurk all around our kids are scary. We may believe that we have been there before and understand completely how to navigate the turbulent waters, but in actuality, they are sailing through uncharted territory. Thankfully, God offers timeless truths that apply to current day situations, so that He can help us guide our children to honor and glorify Him in all they do. As parents, it is our responsibility to raise them to this goal, not simply to coddle them or supply their material needs as they age. Depending on God’s guidance is a parental characteristic that we must demonstrate to our children so that they may find Him relevant to every area of their lives.
Resistance Is Futile
The peer pressure that draws our kids into the hive mind resonates with the adage that “resistance is futile.” The following is a question from a young friend:
I have a question or something to tell you, which ever u rather. All of my friends or at least almost all of them have a cell phone..(big surprise) but I don’t.. well that doesn’t bother me too much but it does a little because everyone is all like”Ooh want to see my this or my that?” or “Oh ya we txt each other all the time” or “YOU REALLY NEED TO GET A PHONE!”
well, it seems like almost everyone of my friends only want to talk to me either in person or by txt, if I can’t txt then they don’t want my #. It hurts me a little cause its like, everyone else is closer to each other cause they text the other person all the time and like they know every bit about that person.. And I know like nothing cause I can’t txt them. what do I do??
I Don’t Fit In
Her scenario reminded me of my [Melanie] horrible 7th-grade year. When I was in 7th grade I had a terrible time fitting in. The girls in my class berated me because I did not wear Wrangler jeans. I begged and pleaded, and finally was able to purchase my very own pair of Wrangler jeans. The day I walked the halls of school wearing my Wrangler jeans, I believed that I would finally fit in. I was certain I was doing exactly what was expected of me. But, nope, my efforts still did not win the acceptance of the group – they weren’t the right kind of Wrangler jeans! It was at that point I decided that I was going to be who God had for me to be, and if others didn’t like it, they didn’t have to look.
If you don’t like it, you don’t have to look.
Melanie Brown
If you don’t like what I’m wearing, don’t look. If you don’t like my hair, don’t look. If you don’t like how I look, don’t look. If you don’t like what I’m eating, don’t look. If you don’t like what I’m reading, don’t look.
Christians Are Aliens
The reality is that as Christians we are considered aliens to this world! As aliens, Peter tells us how to live.
Beloved, I urge you as aliens and strangers to abstain from fleshly lusts which wage war against the soul.
1 Peter 2:11 NASB
Our life’s goal should be to glorify God in all we do. Therefore, as we seek to know God and His ways more and more, we will better know what He has for us to do. We may not understand how everything fits together all the time, but we can know that God placed us into our unique situation because He has unique plans for us. We don’t have to be like everyone else or know what everyone else is doing. But we do need to grow to be like Christ and know what He wants us to do every day. God’s plan for you is different than His plan for anyone else. Enjoy being different!
For am I now trying to persuade people, or God? Or am I striving to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.
Galatians 1:10 CSB
Desire to Fit into the Body of Christ
The draw to be a part of a larger collective is an attribute God has placed within us so that we may desire to be a part of the body of Christ and dependent on Him to set the standards for life and living. Satan works diligently to distract us with time and energy wasters that others consider the essentials of life. But God’s got more important things for us to do.
Two other verses kept coming to mind regarding my young friend’s situation.
And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.
Romans 12:1–2 NLT
When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.
1 Corinthians 13:11–12 NLT
Putting God First in My Life
As we live lives that are desperately dependent on Christ, the resulting connection will magnify the Lord. Realizing that our central focus of life is to make Him look wonderful, the dross of the world falls away. Our unified adventure with God supplies purpose and meaning to life. C. S. Lewis wrote, “But look for Christ and you will find Him, and with Him, everything else thrown in.”
Insight Journal
Consider: If I applied these verses to my life, what would I do differently?
Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God’s right hand. Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth. For you died to this life, and your real life is hidden with Christ in God.
Colossians 3:1–3 NLT
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Excerpts from Desperate Dependency by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis.
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