Should a Christian be exclusive in marriage?

Set Apart as Holy unto God

With my identity firmly established as one who is set apart as holy unto God, our marital identity asserts I am God’s minister to my spouse for His purpose. Therefore, we are not at liberty to live in a fashion that indulges our selfish desires.

For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God.

Colossians 3:3 NASB

And Jesus called them to him and said to them, “You know that those who are considered rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. But it shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

Mark 10:42–45 ESV

I am God’s minister to my spouse for His purpose.

Certainly, we are His peculiar, set apart, and sanctified ones. Moreover, such a relationship is reflected within the constitution of marriage itself. Warren Wiersbe notes,

“Separation is simply total devotion to God, no matter what the cost. When a man and woman get married, they separate themselves from all other possible mates and give themselves completely to each other. This is total commitment motivated by love, and it is a balanced decision: We separate from others to the one who is to be our life’s mate.”¹

Warren Wiersbe

The choice to marry requires a separation from the single lifestyle. We are set apart by each other, for each other. Set aside from all others, we are specifically reserved for the one we have chosen to give ourselves to in consecrated love. Together we commit to an exclusive and intimate companionship that bears the nature of what oneness has created and the image of Him whom oneness exemplifies.

Set Apart to Glorify God

The Lord Jesus separates me from my fleshly, carnal nature calling me to receive from Him the identity of a consecrated spouse. A husband is not merely someone who chooses to marry, but rather one who rises to be God’s man in a maiden’s life. A wife is not merely someone who concedes to marry, but one who commits to serving Christ by serving her husband. God places on Christian husbands and wives the mantle of responsibility with the expectation that we face the opportunity of matrimony as a means to glorify His name and show forth His virtues within the confines of marriage.

Insight Journal

• As a husband/wife, I am set apart to . . .

Excerpts from Marriages that Minister by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis. Available from your favorite book retailers, including Amazon and Redemption Press. (As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases at no extra cost to you.)

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Read more about Marriages that Minister: A Portrait of Christ and His Bride.

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¹ The Transformation Study Bible, NLT Bible (Colorado Springs, CO: David C. Cook, 2009), 785.