I hate my name!
My earliest memories are not of playgrounds or toys, but of an identity crisis. I was just four years old, standing at the window crying out, “I hate my name! I hate my name! Why couldn’t I have a good name—one that started with an ‘R’ like Ronnie or Randy or Mark?” Even then, something deep within me knew something was missing.
Years passed, but the ache remained. I couldn’t quite name it, but I felt a constant discomfort with the person I saw in the mirror each morning. Was it disdain? Familiarity that bred contempt? Or maybe it was a lack of courage to value someone I had long deemed worthless.
Spiritually, I had no trouble believing I was a sinner. That came easy. I believed God was holy and just—and I was convinced the only pleasure I could bring Him was the moment He cast me into hell. The message “God loves you” always felt like it was meant for everyone else in the room—but not me.
After all, what is love, really? I was fluent in guilt, shame, and fear. I knew judgment well. But love? That seemed too hopeful, too far out of reach.
Then something happened.
I encountered God in a way I never saw coming. He reached into my despair—not with condemnation, but with a love so real and so present it shook me to my core. That moment changed nothing in my circumstances—but it changed everything in me.
I discovered something I had never truly believed before: God is love—and He loves me.
That moment brought healing to my brokenness, balance to my chaos, peace to my fear, and joy beyond anything I had ever experienced. And it brought me to a place of humility, gratitude, and worship.
It also gave birth to a calling.
Through iProcess, we’ve sought to pour that life-altering truth into a course designed to walk others through the same journey: discovering identity in Christ, experiencing intimacy with Christ, and stepping into purposeful industry for Christ.
This isn’t just theology—it’s transformation. iProcess is an invitation to know God as He longs to be known. It’s a path to discovering your true identity—not as the world defines it, but as God sees you. And that changes everything.
Identity in Christ isn’t just a churchy catchphrase. It’s the key to the throne room, where we get to play as His children.
Join us on the iProcess journey!
DDCommunity Institute offers a variety of classes to promote your spiritual maturity. Discover the various options of digging deeper into the iProcess. Access the iProcess eBook, iProcess Class 202, iProcess Class Cohort 302, and iProcess Counselor Cohort 402 by visiting DDCommunity Institute for the most current information.
Excerpts from iProcess by J. Kirk & Melanie D. Lewis © 2023. Download your copy today!
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Read more about iProcess: identity in Christ, intimacy with Christ, industry for Christ.
